Wednesday... doozie of a day....

ummm.. well the Lord just has me in one of those places... can't really pin point it.... although I know that He has given me His eyes to see...

Wednesday was probably one of the hardest days recently... It started that morning with hearing some news that just broke my heart, we have a friend waiting on test results from a biopsy, we witnessed a pretty bad car accident, we see the news helicopter flying over and since we have no TV the Lord provided my dad so he told me about the 5 year old in our town that was getting attacked by 3 family dogs, a teenager that I know with an attempted suicide, a  young man facing life in prison (mourning for his family),friends son with broken arm, 2 ladies that have just been diagnosed with cancer, mom had a note sent out to her condo association about her being president,childs cancer coming back and agressive at that,  another marriage destroyed, unbeleving spouses of friends..... this was a hard day, sad day, doozie of a day!!!!....

BUT I have ask the Lord to give me His eyes, give me His heart, Love like He does... well.... HE HAS!!! I want the things that break His heart to break mine... in this world we live in we have become so desensitized to our surroundings, possibly even turning our heads ......we are a selfish people (I being number 1) as I pondered, prayed, and was heartbroken over these things the scripture that kept coming to my mind was

Matthew 5:4  Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.... this is the meaning of mourning over sin, my sin, the worlds sin....  and looking back on Wednesday all these things in someway had to do with sin... maybe not their own sin , but the sin of the world....

I often go back to what it must have been like in the garden when Adam and Eve were in PERFECT communion with God!... thankful for my Savior, My Lord that one day if we are in Christ we will be in PERFECT communion with God, No sin, No suffering, No tradegy, No crying.... 
so as Wednesday came and left I am thankful God comforted me and HE is my HOPE! ..... I can't imagine the non believer hearing or witnessing these things and having NO HOPE.....  breaks.my.heart!...

so as this season of Christ approaches know that there is HOPE, He is HOPE....

confessions from a Sinner!

OK..... confessions are not my favorite.. BUT God wants us to confess our sin, ask for forgiveness and guess what ... WE ARE FORGIVEN!! thankful for that!... I think I blogged a while ago that when I get tired I am GRUMPY... well that is where I am again... TIRED... between my own sickness and the kiddos being sick I have not got adequate sleep for this busy momma!.. NO EXCUSE though!.. SIN.. SIN.. SIN.... it is who we are... yes all of us... the scripture says we are born from our father Adam, and we go back to the garden and he sinned... so if I am from Adam, then I am a sinner... sometime we think the life of a Christian is easy.. ummm NO... I am tempted and as sinful as an unbeliever... BUT if I confess my sins to God, I am assured he will forgive me... I am to put my sinful desires behind me... I feel like Paul ALOT...

 

especially this scripture 

Romans 7:15  For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.

so confession.... I am a SINNER SAVED BY GRACE!!!!

 I have a GREAT SAVIOR...

Do you know Him?

.... ask yourself this question.... What shall I do with this Jesus???  ....

 

  My hope is everyone knows Jesus...

My hope is in HIM!

My hope is knowing He is the only way to eternal life..

All dogs go to...............

as I was up with Andrew last night................

I heard what I hear often at night.... DOGS!!!!

 I love our dogs and our neighbor dogs...

does that sound strange??? my neighbors dogs???

well,  when they hang at your house ALL the time they really become ours...

we love on them, pick ticks off them, and when they are injured we take them to the rightful owners home!...

 At any given time we can have upwards of 9 dogs in our yard!

 We love them... and really do love each one!..

so I say All Dogs go to.......

THE LAWRENCE'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not connected....

Sometimes when me and the kiddos are sick, sometimes there is no connection... especially with the outside world.. for those who know me I LOVE people!!!, LOVE asking questions and LOVE listening to peoples hearts... so when I am not surrounded by others I sometimes feel a disconnect...

Yesterday was my first Sunday back after being out 2 weeks ... being sick stinks... having sick children stinks worse!!  I walked in the church doors and immediately I felt "not connected" I missed everyone ALOT but there was some disconnect there... same thing when I walked in youth and then the service I felt the same way... I LOVE everyone of my faith family so I was really troubled by this so when the music started God gently reminded me that HE is the only connection I need, His building is where I worship Him ...He is worthy!... although it is VERY important to be with the body!!!!...  so as I reflected on yesterday ....... I am SOOOOO connected with my Lord :)

I see how some who get out of the :"routine" of Sunday mornings can become disconnected... but I say to those people..... go back, get connected with God and He will get you connected with His body!

HE always knows best!

First as I write this entry...... I am sick.. not often I am sick but this cough just won't go away! its nagging and annoying!... blah is what I feel!.. I am always 90 to nothing (by the way, this is not how God intended my life to be)  most of the time I am running on adrenaline and by the time bed time is here I am pooped!... 
 
This week I had MY plans.... well HE had another... we are taking off... and I am thankful he knows what is best for us!.. HE knew I needed to slow down, rest, and Be Still!... I will obey and obey with a thankful heart that HE knows what is best!
Hope you have a BLESSED and THANKFUL Thanksgiving!...  I hope you slow down, rest, and Be Still too!

Psalm 100:4
Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name

Their first year.... AND we have a lot to learn too!

About 2 months ago a young couple approached Doug and I and they were getting married and ask if we would walk with them at least the first year of their marriage....  of course our minds were like "why" us??... well after a couple of brief conversations we said YES!... if you can imagine we started thinking about our own marriage and how we could teach a younger couple because its not always perfect.... BUT one of the things we have learned over the years is that BOTH husband and wife MUST LOVE their heavenly Father and KNOW Him!.. lets face it we are BOTH sinners and you put two people living in the flesh it will not be pretty ..... 

we met for the first time last night and we had already picked out a book to go through that is based SOLELY off SCRIPTURE.... that is IMPORTANT.... if we view it any other way, not good! The book is by John Piper "This Momentary Marriage"  here is a link to a video that is worth watching!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  GET YOUR TISSUES!!!!! 

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=video&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CDYQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fvimeo.com%2F38033654&ei=TlCiUOTRPIWS9gSxoYDwBw&usg=AFQjCNGuBVG25y7oe4IeRZI01ZyaeBIDHA



After meeting last night I can assure you we can learn ALOT from them!... I am thankful for this time with them... Life on Life, in the Word, and beautiful fellowship!

Don't leave me with the babies!!!!................

Yesterday , Lori stopped by at lunch and we had a sandwich, although when she called me in the morning to see if it was OK,  I of course was SURE then in the back of my mind I am thinking "Lunch time at our house can be a little chaotic at times"  sooooo I thought lets go for it!... I was planning out the lunch hour in my brain........   so the time comes and already the kiddos had been fussing and fighting, whinny and tired and the POP UP is all they had on the BRAIN!... but the excitement I can handle but the fighting and other nonsense I could do without! so Lori gets here... crisis averted only with a little chaos, when Andrew needed to go to the bathroom and came out nude... won;t tell the rets of the story on here!....so lunch was blessed and we had a great time speaking of things of the Lord and BTW I am grateful! so as lunch was ending I could see the unfolding occurring so Lori said "gotta go back to work!" I walked her to her car and as she was getting in I said "Don't leave me with the babies!"  I remembered that commerical when we had TV... always one of my favorites!... but sometimes as a mom who is with her children 24 hours a day and hardly a break it can be the thoughts that come into my head... if I am being honest! Homeschooling is one of the HARDEST but most REWARDING things and i would not change it for anything (unless the Lord said something different) but we have hard days, long days, loving days, rebellious days,fun days, and  sometimes lazy days!.... I said that yesterday but through HIS grace today, I say "leave me with the babies today!

Lori and I

 

 

 

The "babies"

 

 

Life... If no eternal value... then...

I have so much that I want to sit and type then LIFE gets in the way, well not in the way you think... I am so blessed and thankful that I GET to  homeschool our children, GET to do laundry, GET to clean toilets, GET to drive the kiddos to soccer, GET to go to church, GET to cook dinner, GET to go to Andrews parties at school, GET to sew, GET to teach God's word... all these things I GET to do!

But sometimes there are things that I waste my time on.... um, yes... Facebook, Email, watching no brain shows on Netflix, Pinterest, and blogs that I follow... I think these are the things that get in the way... in the WAY with my Lord, WAY of my kiddos, WAY of my hubby, WAY of memorizing scripture... I'm convicted!.. I am constantly battling if facebook needs a break and JUST when I think I'm gonna take a break, I get an inbox with someone asking me to pray, encourage or love on them... so I think for now I will stay... all the other things I will cut back on!... I ask you pray with me... if it has no Eternal value then I don't want to be a part of it!.. LIFE is to be consumed with Jesus!

BIG one please....

well,  today like EVERY morning,   is one of those mornings that I go to get coffee and look in the cabinet and say ..." ummm which mug??"                                                                                                                                                                                     well they all have a person behind them, the one who gave it to me!.... so this morning I am EXHAUSTED!!!!    so today I pick the biggest one!..  thank you Michele for my "forever 29".. feeling a little older than that this am,  BUT we will keep the age secret!... oh and it is FULL to the brim!

so many things.... but time SLOW down!

Oh my~!~~.... it has been a while since I have "deposited " things from this CRAZY brain and FULL heart... I have been amazed how God has used this blog not only to keep for the kiddos but to really let me get all that He is doing on paper!....  We are coming off one of the busiest times of the year....  Soccer, Family mission trip, and Fox Fever Run...  whoa I am tired just thinking back at all has been happening and I get overwhelmed in this mind! I am thankful for God and His love for me and my family... This road of "life" is not easy... I am the sinner!.. I lay in bed at night thinking of all what seems to be every sin in my day.. again I get overwhelmed................... then after confessing and asking for forgiveness I know for certain that I am forgiven!...

although I feel like Paul so much as written in

Romans 7:19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

I am the first to admit that I fall short!.. I get to busy, overwhelmed, and just t.i.r.e.d!... I know it is only through His GRACE I go on each day!... I again was reminded today just how fast life goes... Angela S.L.O.W. down He keeps reminding me!.. the handstands in the living room, awana study time, homeschooling, dog begging to come inside, shows, and the list goes ...  I am reminded that these days are numbered... love them where they are and stop being so busy....

I know, I know many of you who read this will think... what?? she is with those kiddos 24/7 HOW could she want to pause all of this....  I know one day...... they will have their own family, we will be secondary.... I want them to know that we LOVE them here!... my prayer is when they leave they want to be back and know that "we" are home :) 

I will blog about all the happenings that have happened since , well.... whenever that was!

When I am tired............

I had a friend tell me the other day....  people say why are you looking so tired and the response is I have been tired since the birth of the first child..... ummm for me that is 2001.........  ummmm 11 years of being tired, I think so................................. 
when I get tired I am GRUMPY, MEAN, SHORT, and just plain UGH to be around... is that what the past 11 years have been like , hopefully NO!!!!!!!!!!!!  having 4 kiddos in 9 years can really take a toll on you both physically and mentally, well I am soooooooooooo thankful for grace.. my families grace BUT more importantly HIS grace....

you say what is the definition of grace?
well this is the wikiopedia.......to mean unmerited favor

I am thankful for grace, His grace...... if I did not have Jesus, I would be facing being separated from God eternally and for that I am not OK!... without Jesus we face being separated eternal.....  this is reality!... not popular these days to say BUT it is truth... I am feeling an urgency to share more, share more, share more.

I pray, and pray for those I know and don't know that they would come to a knowledge of Him, of His love, of His grace... 

Romans 1:16.....
16 For I am not ^aashamed of the ^bgospel of Christ: for it is the ^cpower of God unto ^dsalvation to every one that believes; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.

I love this scripture, one of my favs.....  but as you read it it is pretty clear that it is the power of the gospel that saves....  if we have a gospel starts with Jesus then we have missed the part of who God is, and who we are... I would go as far to say that missing those two things I just mentioned means that we have left some out, so that is not the FULL gospel! some really question why they need Jesus when we live in a world that people think they are pretty good but in Romans it says 3:10 as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;  We measure ourselves against others (ie.. people in jail, murders, druggies, neighbors, etc.) when we really should compare ourselves to a Holy God!!!!...  amen! or oh me!!.....  

so as I go back to being tired and how I am when I am tired there is only one word to use to describe me... its SIN!!!.. I don't want to be all those things!.. its just not who I want to be , I want to be more like HIM!!!!...  all to say its grace, for which I am thankful!.. as Ann Voscamp would say... ALL IS GRACE!!!!!...  so thankful since I am in HIM I am forgiven, and when he sees me he sees HIS son!!!!

angela

"passion"

The other day I had a one on one date with Lane... it was a trip to Walmart to get groceries... whoo hooo... NOT!.. but being with my kiddos one on one is a BLESSING and RARE these days!.. I really want to do it more but with time and work and so many other factors I am thankful to the time I do.... BUT this is not what the blog is about :)  don't get me wrong I LOVED EVERY minute of it and we had a GREAT time!... any way!!!!
 
I ran into a friend that I have not seen in about a year, I really do miss her and her family, but as I homeschool, she works and her kiddos go to the local christian school our paths just do not cross that often... so we talked and caught up and her kiddos are getting soooooo big and mature... what happened to the little kiddos???  she ask me about Soul bags and Fox Fever and so I was telling her some neat things that the Lord was doing.. many of you know my passion... Gods word, truths of Gods word and Lords work... I LOVE talking about these things I guess you could say passion... well she made a comment that just got me thinking (since Thursday of last week)... she said "Angela, I love how YOU have such a passion"... well at the time I said thank you because I was thankful that she saw "passion" in my heart for Him and what the Lord was doing............. BUT it got me thinking "should we all have the passion about things of the Lord?" YES!!! of course but in this fallen world, sinful desires, flesh, and idols... how can we have a passion because we are so wrapped up in all these other things.... our minds are so full of temporal things, we are living for this world and not of eternal value stuff... just FYI I struggle with all the above.. I am not at all saying I am better than anyone, I have a plank in this eye! what I am saying is if we all were consumed in His word, His grace and His love, we would have a great heart of passion!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been asking the Lord to give me more of Him, more of Him, More Light, More Light!....  I am thankful she saw "passion" in me but again could I have more?? yes!... can you??? yes!  I am thankful that the Lord puts people in your path to help you realize how short we fall from fully giving all to Him!
I thank God for Cindy, I love her and her family and hoping we can see each other more often!

angela

He really is a hard worker!.. does he ever get sleep??

As i as I lay here tonight and listen to my hubby breath in and out I am having one of those nights when I am so full on the inside and it just make me wanna bubble out... I am so thankful for him!.. he is one of the hardest workers I have EVER met.. this is kinda what his day looks like EVERY day...

4:00 am... alarm goes off... well on the day he runs 3:30 ish
4:15am or 4:30am depends on if Jon his running partner comes to our house or Doug drives there
5:00am shower.. again all depends on "how far" they run!
walking out the door at 6:00am to drive 45 minutes
6:45am at work and BUSY all day long... not just sitting at a desk but cleaning, organizing, moving, inspecting, managing, breaking up fights with employees (well not punching) and the list goes on!... he leaves work about
6:45pm to 7:00pm he gets home to 4 kiddos that are soooooo excited to see another face other than mine LOL!...
this is a day with no soccer.... well this is FRIDAY only!... we have soccer 3 days and church one!

I say all these thing not to make anyone think our schedule is too busy but to bring a thankfulness to my husband who works sooooooo hard to provide for his family! I DO NOT tell him enough that I am in awe of him and his dedication to our family!...  as he just turned over again I hear his breath and just makes me again more thankful!... thanking God that he chose us to be together!...

Blessings...

after I read 1000 gifts it has made me much MORE aware of what is going on around me!.. I'm usually a very detailed person anyway but this book revealed lots more to me about being intentional about seeing God work everywhere, in all circumstances, in everyday life, etc....  I was so thankful this year for my birthday Michele gave me this book, I know it has been one of her favorites and she is so good about when something is precious to her she wants others to experience it too!... anyway.... I have just been so overwhelmed in the last few months at how God has worked EVEN through SUFFERING and seeing his goodness and love during those times!.. Just because we have a relationship with the Lord that do not guarantee us with a life of prosperity or no suffering!.. I do believe there will be quite a harsh judgement on those who teach this!... 
He speaks of suffering in the scriptures...

Romans 8:28 is one of my favorite verses "and we know that for those who love God, He works ALL things for good for those who are called according to His purpose"

I know God is GOOD and I want to live my life as a life of worship and give him ALL the glory and ALL the praise :)

151. water gun fight
152. working washer and dryer
153. book that helps me again look at life different
154. son who takes sisters place
155. VBS on Kentucky Ave
156. lunch with the Hendrix's after church (faith and Steve)
157 Alexis being able to hug Allison's neck
158. ALMOST finishing our bucket list
159. meeting a new friend at VBS last week
160. the get well box for Caleb after he hurt his foot
161. sitting under Doug in SS... even if it is almost over
162. Soul bags that impacting lives ALL over the world
163. chats with Kat on the phone
164. Lane wearing her gospel bracelet and asking questions
165. coffee (think I have put this on before, but oh well)
166. new shoes
167. hubby that makes me feel special
168. last day before school starts
169. seeing those sweet ladies at FB preschool yesterday
170. microwave we just threw away (was gonna catch on fire)
171. lunch with Lori yesterday
172. forgiveness in Christ
173. John Piper and his challenging words
174. momma that is able to still talk
175. seeing family even if it is at a funeral
176. running water
177. devils food cake 
178. Gods Grace 
179. salvation
180. like minded and like hearted people
181. The Dodd family and the desire to reach what others think are unreachable
182. Internet
183. Soul bags
184. the supplies that the Lord continues to provide for this ministry
185. Christina and her passion for Soul Bags
186. Fox Fever
187. Fox Fever Blanket (Angela made, not me!)
188. chick fil a char grilled salad
189. odysseys tapes (yes I said tapes!)
190. a pastor who preaches with passion and wants his flock to grow!
191. My bible study group
192. sheets (Andrew potty training and having more than one :) )

He took her place...................

I have been wanting to sit and write this blog for a while and just could not get it "right" in my head....  but I think that God knew it was not the "right" timing!.. this am I woke up to Andrew 5:15am to be exact screaming out daddy....  mommy..... well if you know this house the kiddos should not get out of bed till at least the sun comes up! :) so I got him settled and then I was WIDE awake... well that means in my mind coffee and bible!....  well...... so I decided to read one of my favorite blogs..

http://www.aholyexperience.com/

well God said it was time!!.... so now I sit and tell this story of our sweet son Caleb.... well lets just back up.....  he is sweet but still a sinner like us ALL!... but he is a professing christian and we want to make sure that he NEVER has a false salvation....  all that to say is Doug and I want to be "fruit inspectors" and look here folks if our lives have no fruit then we really should revisit our salvation!...  
(Galatians 5:22-23) ²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.





ALWAYS Lord show us glimpses of salvation in our children!

so on with the story... back about 3 weeks to a month ago we had Sunday evening worship and went out to eat with some friends, well you know what happens then.... spend the nights :) well Alexis went on with her friend and Lane wanted to have company at our house but her behavior had been not so good and she had 4 days of restriction and the answer of course was "NO!!!"  so we stood outside of pizza hut and Caleb came over to Doug and was in tears and said "I wanna take Lanes punishment so she can have Molly spend the night"....  WOW !!!!  it took us back for a quick moment and then Doug reminding  Caleb again that Christ did that for us! what a GREAT moment and also explaining that to Lane :)  we have to take moments like that and just praise God and thank Him for sooooo much and thanking Him for taking our place when we deserved that death!!!!!!!!.......  

If you love blogs this is one to follow!... God has given her a gift of writing .... Ann Voscamp is her name and her book is 1000 gifts

BEING a GOOD steward..... ???

one of the things that the Lord has dealt with me and Doug over the past 3 years at least is being good stewards of the money HE has in trusted us with!.... fail!!!!!....  we try sooooo very hard on saving and giving where we are lead by HIM to do, but we fail..... well at least I feel guilty!......... as I was growing up I lived with a single mom and I had everything that I needed and most of my wants  ... But we only went on 1 vacation BUT it was MEMORABLE!!!!  so growing up seeing mom struggle at times to make ends meet I think that made me who I am today! many of you know I have a sister ..... long story but for now it is not even about that anyway so details on that later :)   ... thankful that my growing up life shaped the way I shop and spend money etc....
I am FRUGAL... Doug is not!... Don't you just love how the Lord matches... to his defense he is a giver!... he LOVES to give and I am FOREVER thankful that his heart is for others! in many ways I wish I was a little freer with money to others but the Lord uses me in a different way!.. again LOVE how that works!... But to my post... sometimes I feel guilty when I need something.. many of you know I am runner and runners need good shoes... well me... I go to the store.... get the type of shoe that fits well and makes me feel comfortable running and so I go and buy that shoe!... well kinda I usually buy the one that is half price ($30 or so...).... well last time I bought shoes was about 6 months ago and guess what....  tore.. worn out already!....  so my whole post is really to be about the shoes that Doug surprised me with Saturday... I will not talk about the price because I will faint right at this computer sooooooo..... I am gonna keep them... one reason is my sweetie bought them... second...  they will last me about 500 miles....  third I will not have to replace them ANYTIME soon.....so I think in the long run he is right!... I JUST LOVE HIM!!!!  not because he buys me stuff.. my love language is acts of service... (unloading the dishwasher, folding clothes, etc...)  I am thankful for my husbands heart and thankful that he knows that this investment will last a long time..... I will continue to shop at Aldi, Goodwill, and any place that saves us money and then there is MORE to give!!!!!

 Ill post a picture of the shoes later!

Father's day... aka here DADDY!!!

what a blessing and a joy........ Doug aka to kiddos daddy!... what a man!... Doug is one of the most loving, kissing(ask anyone!) man of God, Witty, loud, hard working, dependable, high energy, passionate, kind, selfless man I know!... He is ALWAYS seeking and asking God to help him lead our family in the way which God designed it.. for that I am thankful!... He is up before the roosters and lays his head down well after the sun goes in from the day ... for that I am thankful!  He is always smiling for the camera and when its time for a funny pose his finger ALWAYS ends up at his nose... for that I am thankful! When I am at whits end, he is ALWAYS wanting me to take a breather... for that I am thankful!  sitting under him while we are on break from teaching SS hearing Gods word.... for that I am thankful! working so hard while I can stay at home and homeschool..... for that I am thankful!....... I could list and list all the things that I am thankful for and it could take up this WHOLE page...
but I think this sums it up ..... I am thankful that God would allow me to love a man who seeks to be more like His heavenly Father... GOD!!!!.... for that I am REALLY thankful!

Fathers day 2012...... enjoy!

its time for 1st grade!................. coming home baby!!!

In May... Lane graduated from Kindergarten, it was a bitter sweet for many reason but one of many was she was leaving a great preschool and leaving a great teacher!.... we loved ms Jan and he love for children and them learning!.... we were BLESSED to have her there and I am GRATEFUL that Lane is ready to come home baby!!!!!!  HOMESCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   yes!.. we are ready, well maybe not today but we are getting excited to start a routine and hoping that Lane will love me as much as
Ms Jan! :) here is graduation!