tears of joy!

I have been so overwhelmed with emotions today..tears!!! I am overwhelmed that God uses people to accomplish His purpose and will...I am overwhelmed by the love and support that God has given me through people!... I wanted to make sure I blogged about this because I am seeing God in this journey that He has me on good days and my worst frazzled day!. 

God is so good, 
God is so gracious, 
God is sovereign! 

Today was a day that was full of tears.... good ones people!!!! I was so excited to find out that we would be able to stay in a cabin in Blue Ridge and just be "us" for 2 days... understanding that my heart is not in a place of not taking the boys but we really feel like our kiddos need a couple of days to decompress... Fostering is a whole family mission and kiddos really can't fully communicate that they need at times BUT we know when its time for them... second I received and anonymous check in the mail today with the SWEETEST note and one of the lines said "go, do something with this that you ALL can enjoy!!! so guess what I will honor that person and we are tossing several things in our heads BUT I think that the aquarium is top, the Fantasy of lights too... E our 4 yr old Foster son will be sooooooo excited!!! N well, he is young and probably won't remember ... our kiddos will be doing cartwheels, flips, jumps well,  you get the picture...  I am SO thankful and amazed at how God uses us,!!! 

a journey of life and I am blessed to be walking with My Lord!

Isaiah 12:4

In that day you will say: "Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted.

What the kiddos think about fostering......

out of the mouths of babes...
actually I have wanted to really debrief our own children but time has just not been there.. we have had times where they have all had a break down and we have had to console their hearts and encourage them in this journey... It has been hard... to see their hearts break and trying to get them to understand that God is doing a work in them as the same with us... I want them to know that the scriptures are clear.. we are to care for the orphans and widows... my heart stays heavy asking questions to myself and I know it weighs on Doug too just thinking what are our own kiddos thinking?, is this the right decision?, will they hate caring for orphans because things are hard at times here?, and the list goes on... this is not easy... parenting our own children is hard too but add children who have never been taught anything (eating with forks, spoons, bathing, manners, self control, using words instead of yelling, etc) This my friends is not for the faint of heart... I am thankful for this journey! it has taught me so much about myself... would we do it again... YES!! although we would take into consideration ages... Andrew has struggled, not with the youngest but the 4 year old.. he is in constant conflict from the time he is up till the time of bed... it is heartbreaking... Andrew has the most gentle personality and the other one does not and eggs Andrew on.. we have seen Andrew struggle in actions not words... oh how I wish he could tell me!!!!
so this morning I sat the kiddos down and ask them 4 questions... I will share the good and bad in their answers... this is where the "big" kiddos are...

1. What do you like the most about it?
Lane- when they got here they were cute
Caleb-Andrew has a friend to play with
Alexis-they have learned...... somewhat

2.What do you dislike the most?
Lane- kinda mean to us
Caleb-Andrew having someone telling him what to do all the time
Alexis-loudness and Andrew being sad, disobedience

3.What sins get brought to you heart through fostering
Lane- Anger
Caleb-wanting them to leave soon
Alexis-Anger

4. would you do it again?
Lane- yes... girl only
Caleb-maybe... if they are not loud
Alexis-yes... because it helps children who need parents

PS.. Andrew we love you  ( the kiddos wanted to put that at the end)

these are tough to look at somewhat..... although my heart leaps for joy knowing they would want to do it again.... the question is always.... Jesus are YOU worth it.... and the answer is ALWAYS YES!!!

s t r e t c h e d !!!!!!!

well, my life has felt like a rubber band at times in 10 weeks... yes that is how long these boys have been with us!!! I am sooooooo thankful that the Lord over the past 2 weeks has shown us fruit of our labor... and when I mean labor I mean HARD labor... sometimes I have felt as if I was a rubber band stretched so wide that I could snap at any point... oh but the Lord was so gracious and allowed me to never be stretched so wide that I broke.. don't get me wrong I have been broke BUT for His glory... I have cried out , fallen on my knees and ask the Lord for guidance, grace and mercies afresh EVERY morning.. my sin has reared its ugly head when I least expect... so thankful HE is my source of strength!!! I am VERY thankful again he is showing us the fruit!!! these boys have my heart just like my own kiddos and I know when/if they leave us I will be heartbroken, BUT as for now I will live in the day...... not thinking about the what ifs..... I have so much to be thankful for!!!