A little letter to our sweet J and J

UGH  words that just make you "pause"  as they are saying those words... they are leaving... then followed up with .....well now its up to the judge BUT in the deepest part of you...   you say to yourself.. prepare!

yep we are now in prepping mode... I mean REALLY how do you prepare for a departure of someone who you have bonded with, cuddled, clean and are still cleaning poopy bottoms, one who has thrown up on you, one who you gave joy to, sang "Bless the Lord oh my soul" to, taught how to walk, seen their first smile, countless doctors appts, fighting the system just to get a bill paid, advocating, feeding, taking on camping trips, soccer field, seen a neglected child blossom into a flower, countless times buckling into the car, being the mom that pushed to make you the best God wanted you to be, and the list goes on!!

almost a year.. little J was 8 months when we got her we saw the first of most things they do as a baby... now 19 months and feisty but oh the most LOVING mommas girl ever!!! and big J.. how you have changed... yes you came to us oh so sad... you could barely walk and we worried and advocated for you from day one.. there were and are still time that our opinion just doesn't matter in your long term care... I know in the depth of who I am that I did all I could to speak when you could not! I am so proud of the precious little lady you have become..  You two will always have a special place in this mommas heart! we love you both!

I write this as I have BIG tears rolling down my face... This journey is hard BUT I also believe in the sovereignty of God and I rest in that... we had them almost a year and I am thankful for the time we did have.. The Lord knew before the foundation of the world that a this time these girls would be with us and when they would leave.. I trust.. although it is still sad I trust God and His plans!