What this season of life has taught and brought me:
live in the moment, hang on to the moments that are right before you, don't try to pass moments quickly, live for today, thank God for underwear hanging from the soap in the guest bathroom, grateful that J is getting therapy, being there when Alexis is having a hard time making decisions about a roll cart or book bag, using lots of gas in the new van, understanding grace on a new level, cooking BIG meals, thankful for being able to eat out once a week, blessings of strangers bringing you diapers, neighbors bringing us fresh veggies from their garden, chaos at times, L becoming a healthy child, Lane and Caleb enjoying Academy soccer, Alexis being the 1st player to join the "juggling club" with 26 juggles, messy kitchen, COFFEE, the "pen" for babies that are ALL over the place, hard working hubby, momma who keeps the kiddos so I can get to a dr appt with J, a sister who lets us go to court and keeps the other kiddos, double stroller, homeschooling all my kiddos, and the list can go on and on! I am often ask how I juggle everything... Jesus! He is my strength. period!
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
to the depths
oh my...
anytime we have a situation wether it be our kiddos or foster kiddos it goes to the depth of me!. Last week all 8 children had strep.. well thankfully it was different days where each one of them needed my attention indivually... do you see Gods grace in that? as each child hurt, moaned, fevered, I was raw to the depths.. my heart ached for each one of them...
When a boo boo happens, bad dream, friend hurting your own, or hormonal stuff you hurt, deep hurt!
As I write and God knows the depths of my hurt for each child in our home whether it be biological or foster when they are in pain or hurting socially or just cant do certain things.. yesterday we had a big meeting with a professional and we heard some news that makes you raw... hurt, question, BUT most of all lean on Jesus.. He is the healer for the broken, He is the sustainer for the weak, He is the comforter for uncomfortable situations, He is the Joy in the midst of trials....
so as we press on we know beyond a doubt we take refuge under His wings just like a mother to her ducklings! We trust that He knows what is best, We know He will lead us to the right Dr's, and we trust in His timing!
anytime we have a situation wether it be our kiddos or foster kiddos it goes to the depth of me!. Last week all 8 children had strep.. well thankfully it was different days where each one of them needed my attention indivually... do you see Gods grace in that? as each child hurt, moaned, fevered, I was raw to the depths.. my heart ached for each one of them...
When a boo boo happens, bad dream, friend hurting your own, or hormonal stuff you hurt, deep hurt!
As I write and God knows the depths of my hurt for each child in our home whether it be biological or foster when they are in pain or hurting socially or just cant do certain things.. yesterday we had a big meeting with a professional and we heard some news that makes you raw... hurt, question, BUT most of all lean on Jesus.. He is the healer for the broken, He is the sustainer for the weak, He is the comforter for uncomfortable situations, He is the Joy in the midst of trials....
so as we press on we know beyond a doubt we take refuge under His wings just like a mother to her ducklings! We trust that He knows what is best, We know He will lead us to the right Dr's, and we trust in His timing!
Friday, June 20, 2014
most commonly ask question of a mom of 8!
as I stroll through the park, grocery store, doctors office, church, out at a restaurant and I have all my "ducklings" behind, beside, up on, pushing in the stroller the most common question is "How do you do it?" and I know that my response can be short, to the point, BUT oh, so true.... JESUS!!!.. you see God has saved me and now through the Holy Spirit I am able to have the fruit of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23
Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Am I always perfect at these attributes.. no... I fail, I am a sinner BUT by the blood there is grace.. beautiful grace!
I want to see all of our foster children with His eyes... they have deep wounds , some that you and I will never have, I am assured that while in our home they hear Jesus, but not only hear Jesus BUT see Jesus!!!
so as I even ask myself the same questions of being a mom of 8 and when when C is screaming her head off, J is pooping, L is in time-out, J is struggling with everyday skills, Andrew is needing me to play Jake and the never land pirates, Alexis is wanting me to kick the soccer ball with her, Lane is pulling out the card games, and Caleb is telling me a story, Doug needing his wife, dinner is needing to be cooked, toilets needing to be cleaned, floors sticky, toys everywhere, hair bows stuck in the cup drawer, phone ringing, Dr appts, birthday parties, caseworkers, me needing a shower, dishes, and the list could go on and on.... so what is the answer???? JESUS!
I love the scripture and it has spoke more to me in this season of life more than ever...
Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
does he give me my years worth of strength?? no.. daily, minutely, secondly!
Am I always perfect at these attributes.. no... I fail, I am a sinner BUT by the blood there is grace.. beautiful grace!
I want to see all of our foster children with His eyes... they have deep wounds , some that you and I will never have, I am assured that while in our home they hear Jesus, but not only hear Jesus BUT see Jesus!!!
so as I even ask myself the same questions of being a mom of 8 and when when C is screaming her head off, J is pooping, L is in time-out, J is struggling with everyday skills, Andrew is needing me to play Jake and the never land pirates, Alexis is wanting me to kick the soccer ball with her, Lane is pulling out the card games, and Caleb is telling me a story, Doug needing his wife, dinner is needing to be cooked, toilets needing to be cleaned, floors sticky, toys everywhere, hair bows stuck in the cup drawer, phone ringing, Dr appts, birthday parties, caseworkers, me needing a shower, dishes, and the list could go on and on.... so what is the answer???? JESUS!
I love the scripture and it has spoke more to me in this season of life more than ever...
Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
does he give me my years worth of strength?? no.. daily, minutely, secondly!
Sunday, June 15, 2014
being their voice....
I remember the day I delivered Alexis I remember thinking she can't talk and she depends on Doug and I for everything!! HUGE responsibility!!!! I remember also thinking WE are her voice....and we have with all our biological children and always will when needed....
I also remember in our impact classes thinking and hearing that these foster children need a voice, need an advocate, need lots of love..
This is what we are! THEIR voice! I have so many concerns with some of our girls and I WILL be their voice! I will shout from the rooftops! I will do what God has called us to do!
I want so badly to take all these deep wounds from these precious girls... I know that God can! (I know that God used my wounds to bring me closer to Him)
I want so badly to ask why... But He knows.
I want so badly to be the ones who make sure all needs are met.... Through Him we are!
As I wrestle everybody with the emotions that come along with fostering I am reminded that God is sovereign and We will be THEIR voice!
won't you pray for us???
their hearts
salvation
wisdom
understanding
doctors
case managers
knowledge
patience
I also remember in our impact classes thinking and hearing that these foster children need a voice, need an advocate, need lots of love..
This is what we are! THEIR voice! I have so many concerns with some of our girls and I WILL be their voice! I will shout from the rooftops! I will do what God has called us to do!
I want so badly to take all these deep wounds from these precious girls... I know that God can! (I know that God used my wounds to bring me closer to Him)
I want so badly to ask why... But He knows.
I want so badly to be the ones who make sure all needs are met.... Through Him we are!
As I wrestle everybody with the emotions that come along with fostering I am reminded that God is sovereign and We will be THEIR voice!
won't you pray for us???
their hearts
salvation
wisdom
understanding
doctors
case managers
knowledge
patience
Friday, June 13, 2014
Another baby??
these days lately we have LOTS of drool, fussing, poopies, diapers, bottles, wipes, bibs, clothes, 2 beds, 1 HUGE diaper bag, 2 different types of formula, 2 containers of baby food, cereals , sheets, blankets and most of all we have 2 babies that are 6 and 8 months :) ....
the other day when Alexis and I were talking about the future with foster children she said
"momma, we can take one more, please just one more!".... I quickly said "no!!" don't you think 8 is enough?? ...
I have often thought lately that this was not our plans to have 4 kiddos of our own and then have 4(2 and under).. my plans and His plans did not look the same BUT I can assure you that God has us EXACTLY where He does! I am thankful and rest in HIM!!
the other day when Alexis and I were talking about the future with foster children she said
"momma, we can take one more, please just one more!".... I quickly said "no!!" don't you think 8 is enough?? ...
I have often thought lately that this was not our plans to have 4 kiddos of our own and then have 4(2 and under).. my plans and His plans did not look the same BUT I can assure you that God has us EXACTLY where He does! I am thankful and rest in HIM!!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
sinful heart + His goodness and grace! = blessings!
yesterday I was so emotional... my sinful heart was not in the right place, you see, not only are you as a foster parent dealing with scarred children (yes even ones that are only months old) but you also are dealing with a flawed worldly system. I am just the type personality (maybe to a fault) that when I need to ask a question I need someone RIGHT then.. patience is a fruit of the spirit right?? well, God has and continues to work on me.. I am a work in process!!! BUT after I finally got someone to answer my questions the Lord immediately convicted me of my sinful heart.. I was reminded and repented! a few hours later I was talking to Doug while he was on his way home (get this picture... 2 fussy babies, lane peeling potatoes beside me, L hanging off my leg, and J playing on the fridge phonics, Alexis asking every 5 minutes "when is Caleb coming home from six flags?", and Andrew saying "Jake and the never land pirates!!") mind you it is 5:45 pm! As I spoke to Doug I got teary eyed at just how good God has been to us!.. I could not help but reflect on the "gifts" that He has given us lately through people! I went back to 1000 gifts when Ann Voscamp reminds us to LOOK and pay attention to all the gifts... It's grace! beautiful grace!!! I wanted to record these so as the time went on I could go back and see all he gives! yes, most of these things are material things BUT each person behind these makes my heart smile and will forever be etched on my heart!
while we were at the beach I met a sweet coulee from Kansas and we had the opportunity to talk and share where else other than.... the bathroom!!! what a sweet memory as she told me about her kiddos now getting older and realizing how the time flies.. she was precious and we were not at our campsite at the time but she left a big bag of charcoal with the sweetest note and ask if we would use it! yes, mam.. we cooked hamburgers that night on it! a few minutes later when we returned her son came over a gave our children a boogie board.. what a blessing because we had JUST said hours before when we go to town we need one more boogie bard... well He provided! Doug needed a pair of sunglasses and was getting one of those headaches so he said when we go to town I need sunglasses.... well.... not even hours later Alexis pops up from the ocean and she is holding a "like new" pair of sunglasses... BTW... just like the style Doug wears... you can't tell me God is not in the details of our lives :) then my new friend Brenda! oh.what.a.sweet.heart.... and spoiler !!! she made sure that we were lacking nothing ! Brenda and her husband, sister in law and brother in law were to our left... we had so much in common! and she was just like talking to someone I had know for years! you see, the spirit recognizes the spirit! we stayed up late a couple of nights just talking! they were so generous they gave us a 5 gallon bucket, crabs (fresh), macaroni salad, tomatoes, firewood, baked beans, smores!!! and most of all a sweet memory!!! then the cutest couple to our right was celebrating their 2 year anniversary... why in the world did God allow this couple to be beside the family of "all the kiddos" plus the Hedrixes kiddos too!!! well... our kiddos did not matter o them, they were so gracious!!! they had the cutest yorkie "Annie" of course the kiddos fell in love with Annie... I really think that they will come to griffin not only to see us BUT to attend the Griffin fair :) it was sweet to see them.. it reminded me of the short period that Doug and I were the couple with no kiddos!!! then my Alabama friend Rachel! she was having a "mommy time out" one night on the beach... I strolled down to get something out of the water and then we engaged in conversation.. what a sweet spirit! we talked and talked just about life and it was a blessed time! I really hated when we left that I had not written down my Facebook name BUT she has such a great memory she found me!!! I was so thankful! now we can keep up even miles away! then the couple that was in "the BEST campsite" well in our eyes at least ... stopped us one night and ask us about L.. (yes she was the ONLY black person at the beach so we really stood out every where we went... I hope God reveal to her that God used her in sooooo many ways to minister to others!) we stopped and he said that God kept putting foster parents and adoptive parents in his wife and his life... he really felt like God was calling them to look further.. oh how I wish I had got their names... God knows it! that next evening he had caught a shark and fileted it.. he stops Doug and gives him one of the filets... we used more of the firewood to cook it... and we were able to share it with 3 other campsites.. just typing this makes me thankful, joyful and prayerful! I have now many more to pray for and what a privilege that is!!!
I can't end on the blessings of all those... we are sooooo blessed with the Hendrix's!!! we have become such great friends... this was the 4th time we have been on this "annual" trip!!! NO doubt this is a tradition!! we all look forward to this time together.. we did 5 night together this year!!!! What a heart Faith and Steve have!!! Faith and I could talk for hours! about nothing! I love our time when we sit (would love to make money at that one year ) in our chairs and look and look and look for dolphins or sharks!!! getting shells brought to us, getting sandy, taking LOTS of pictures, telling the kiddos " your too far, come back this way!" then the tradition of Hungry Howie, the sunset coastal grill, then after you are STUFFED eating an ice cream at burger king just because its cheap!, going to dollar general, looking for ALLIGATORS!, playing Dutch Blitz, smelling LOTS of smoke around the campfire, seeing the "different" pairs of kiddos as they walk and play at the beach, and admiring our suntans !!! I am so thankful the we said YES to a beach trip years ago!
then as we returned home I could not wait to get our hands on J, J and C.. I was thankful that Kathy was able to keep C! she brought them so much delight, love, cuteness, and STINKY diapers!! he he!! we had to put J and J in respite care but the lady was so sweet I called to check on the girls it was a sweet reunion.. our house was finally complete!
then last week J need some MUCH needed shoes and being honest... she needed GOOD ones.. I put out on Facebook that I was looking for that size and honestly did not have lots of money to invest... as foster parents there is not always resources, they are very limited!!! the next day I had someone I had know since a little girl sent me a Facebook and said they wanted to buy the shoes... I wept!! I was thankful that God uses us even sinful hearts to care for others!!
I see grace all in this! His grace.. it had nothing to do with "stuff" it has to do with HIM and HIS glory!!! may I continue to remember His goodness when my heart is even in the wrong!
while we were at the beach I met a sweet coulee from Kansas and we had the opportunity to talk and share where else other than.... the bathroom!!! what a sweet memory as she told me about her kiddos now getting older and realizing how the time flies.. she was precious and we were not at our campsite at the time but she left a big bag of charcoal with the sweetest note and ask if we would use it! yes, mam.. we cooked hamburgers that night on it! a few minutes later when we returned her son came over a gave our children a boogie board.. what a blessing because we had JUST said hours before when we go to town we need one more boogie bard... well He provided! Doug needed a pair of sunglasses and was getting one of those headaches so he said when we go to town I need sunglasses.... well.... not even hours later Alexis pops up from the ocean and she is holding a "like new" pair of sunglasses... BTW... just like the style Doug wears... you can't tell me God is not in the details of our lives :) then my new friend Brenda! oh.what.a.sweet.heart.... and spoiler !!! she made sure that we were lacking nothing ! Brenda and her husband, sister in law and brother in law were to our left... we had so much in common! and she was just like talking to someone I had know for years! you see, the spirit recognizes the spirit! we stayed up late a couple of nights just talking! they were so generous they gave us a 5 gallon bucket, crabs (fresh), macaroni salad, tomatoes, firewood, baked beans, smores!!! and most of all a sweet memory!!! then the cutest couple to our right was celebrating their 2 year anniversary... why in the world did God allow this couple to be beside the family of "all the kiddos" plus the Hedrixes kiddos too!!! well... our kiddos did not matter o them, they were so gracious!!! they had the cutest yorkie "Annie" of course the kiddos fell in love with Annie... I really think that they will come to griffin not only to see us BUT to attend the Griffin fair :) it was sweet to see them.. it reminded me of the short period that Doug and I were the couple with no kiddos!!! then my Alabama friend Rachel! she was having a "mommy time out" one night on the beach... I strolled down to get something out of the water and then we engaged in conversation.. what a sweet spirit! we talked and talked just about life and it was a blessed time! I really hated when we left that I had not written down my Facebook name BUT she has such a great memory she found me!!! I was so thankful! now we can keep up even miles away! then the couple that was in "the BEST campsite" well in our eyes at least ... stopped us one night and ask us about L.. (yes she was the ONLY black person at the beach so we really stood out every where we went... I hope God reveal to her that God used her in sooooo many ways to minister to others!) we stopped and he said that God kept putting foster parents and adoptive parents in his wife and his life... he really felt like God was calling them to look further.. oh how I wish I had got their names... God knows it! that next evening he had caught a shark and fileted it.. he stops Doug and gives him one of the filets... we used more of the firewood to cook it... and we were able to share it with 3 other campsites.. just typing this makes me thankful, joyful and prayerful! I have now many more to pray for and what a privilege that is!!!
I can't end on the blessings of all those... we are sooooo blessed with the Hendrix's!!! we have become such great friends... this was the 4th time we have been on this "annual" trip!!! NO doubt this is a tradition!! we all look forward to this time together.. we did 5 night together this year!!!! What a heart Faith and Steve have!!! Faith and I could talk for hours! about nothing! I love our time when we sit (would love to make money at that one year ) in our chairs and look and look and look for dolphins or sharks!!! getting shells brought to us, getting sandy, taking LOTS of pictures, telling the kiddos " your too far, come back this way!" then the tradition of Hungry Howie, the sunset coastal grill, then after you are STUFFED eating an ice cream at burger king just because its cheap!, going to dollar general, looking for ALLIGATORS!, playing Dutch Blitz, smelling LOTS of smoke around the campfire, seeing the "different" pairs of kiddos as they walk and play at the beach, and admiring our suntans !!! I am so thankful the we said YES to a beach trip years ago!
then as we returned home I could not wait to get our hands on J, J and C.. I was thankful that Kathy was able to keep C! she brought them so much delight, love, cuteness, and STINKY diapers!! he he!! we had to put J and J in respite care but the lady was so sweet I called to check on the girls it was a sweet reunion.. our house was finally complete!
then last week J need some MUCH needed shoes and being honest... she needed GOOD ones.. I put out on Facebook that I was looking for that size and honestly did not have lots of money to invest... as foster parents there is not always resources, they are very limited!!! the next day I had someone I had know since a little girl sent me a Facebook and said they wanted to buy the shoes... I wept!! I was thankful that God uses us even sinful hearts to care for others!!
I see grace all in this! His grace.. it had nothing to do with "stuff" it has to do with HIM and HIS glory!!! may I continue to remember His goodness when my heart is even in the wrong!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
puzzle pieces... fitting together!
Who knows how many hours/days/weeks this blog will take me!... we have in our home right now a 5.5 month old, 7 month old, 22 month old, 2,3.5, 8,11,12... yes, my friends, that is eight kiddos.. nap time at the Lawrence's right now... whooooo will wake up??? .... Ill keep going... we feel as though a portion of the puzzle is coming together as we are living this fast paced life right now!.. Our lives and family became bigger 11 weeks ago when we got L and C ... oh.my.goodness.... they have come leaps and bounds!!! Every single time we had to go anywhere as a family it was SOOOO tight... 3 car seats and 2 kiddos the size of adults... it was TIME... we have talked and talked and prayed for the Lord to show us the right thing.. we want to be good stewards of HIS money... so fast forward to this past weekend.. well, really lets go back 2 weeks ago... a friend was moving and had a toddler bed that she wanted to get rid of and I told her if NO one else wanted it we would take it... so we did.. set it up and L has been sleeping in it for more than a week.. so an open crib... hhhmmmmm... we had thought of putting C in it BUT mommas heart was not ready!...WHO would be in the crib upstairs?? OK.. back to the car... a BIGGER vehicle... OK our expedition held 8.. what is bigger than that?... well lets go 12.. so we did!!! we brought one home to drive this past weekend... we loved it BUT the car payment was something that we have not had in years!!! do we, don't we, do, don't???? we were seeking the Lord... we felt as if he was saying yes... but car payment?? we looked at numbers and we definitely could afford it but ugh!!! car payment... well on Monday morning we went about our business... had a great day! I even got to close my eyes during nap time... Not.like.me but the Lord was preparing... at 5 we got a call... for 2 precious girls.. we knew them and we said YES.. that is a whole other blog... when you say YES.. God will do mighty things!!! we definitely feel like God was confirming our decision.. may this Van, Us, and the "church" (BTW.. that is YOU) bring glory and honor to God! He is worthy, He is due all the GLORY!!! He is putting puzzle pieces together as we speak... We are letting Him write our story!!!
PS.. wow I finished with NO interruptions :)
PS.. wow I finished with NO interruptions :)
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