Been a while... hear where my heart is ....

in the foster world you NEVER know when the next call will come in.. you never know what your "numbers" will be... well the day after coming home from the beach we got a call.. not just any call but a straight from the hospital call... yep a 3 day old... oh, my!!! He is a doll baby!!! We still have "M" 19 months old.. and of course the big ones!!!... we have had lots of fun going back the the cuddly stage of newborns.. eating, sleeping, pooping!!!... oh and some lost sleep.. we , I think, are finally in a somewhat of a schedule.. last bottle at 10:15ish and then sleeping till 4:30.. we have done pool parties, tennis lessons, stone Mountain laser show, 2 night camping trip, dog sitting, and I know more but when I have a brain toot I always say " I have a newborn, you know?" HE HE!!!! We are good.. Ill be honest my heart more and more is wanting an adoption situation.. you see we have had 18 foster children and the have all went home... we did not go into this for adoption but my heart seems to be longing for that.. just being honest .. I'm not sure all the kiddos that went back had a great situation.. I think that is why my heart is aching for one that can stay.. one that I know will have every need met, every single second, every single day... this fostering journey is not for the faint of heart! there is pain, longing to care for broken ones (because we are all undone, broken and needy... and we need Jesus!) the two we have now my heart aches thinking about them leaving... BUT again I always go back to God is in control, God knows what is best, and also God knows my heart... I want to trust, I want to believe all these things.. and I don't always understand what He is doing but I will rest in Him, rest in His timing, and rest if He says "no" to any adoption situation... 

I could not help but think of these verses
Isaiah 55:8
8"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.
9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.…