my mind went there!!!! ugh!!!

The most common words I hear when I say that we are foster parents is..

 "I could never do that because I could never give them back, I get too attached" and Yes that is a very true statement for everyone including me! we do get attached!!!

I think of the 9 children that have been in and out of our home and each one leaves a mark..

a mark of deep sadness of their situations,
a deep wound of something they did to our own children,
a deep hurt because they did not ask to be born in these situations...

Yesterday I let my mind go there..... maybe TMI but Lane had to go to the bathroom during the service yesterday and I went with her... I decided that I would go while I was in there too and it happened... I was sitting on the toilet and BAM... it hit like a ton of bricks... like when you almost cant breathe... saddened about the day these girls may leave! you see I want to publicly tell the details of their situation but, for their privacy I wont BUT the heartbreak is too much to bear! I allowed my mind to go their for a second...

THEN.......

 .....peace..... peace in the Sovereignty of God! you see, He is in control... I am not!
.....peace.....peace that He knows what is best for the girls
.....peace.....peace that God will use these girls to bring Himself glory
.....peace.....peace that no matter what He has my good in mind

So when I was washing my hands I was thanking Him for His unwavering goodness that we have the PRIVILEGE to have these girls in our home for as long as he allows and we will take each moment and bring Him all the glory!

so this is why we do it..... God has a plan and I don't want to look at my own inward hurts because in the end.... we will not wait on the sidelines wondering if we will get hurt .... we serve and bring Him glory and my friends HE IS WORTH IT!!!!