these days lately we have LOTS of drool, fussing, poopies, diapers, bottles, wipes, bibs, clothes, 2 beds, 1 HUGE diaper bag, 2 different types of formula, 2 containers of baby food, cereals , sheets, blankets and most of all we have 2 babies that are 6 and 8 months :) ....
the other day when Alexis and I were talking about the future with foster children she said
"momma, we can take one more, please just one more!".... I quickly said "no!!" don't you think 8 is enough?? ...
I have often thought lately that this was not our plans to have 4 kiddos of our own and then have 4(2 and under).. my plans and His plans did not look the same BUT I can assure you that God has us EXACTLY where He does! I am thankful and rest in HIM!!
Friday, June 13, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
sinful heart + His goodness and grace! = blessings!
yesterday I was so emotional... my sinful heart was not in the right place, you see, not only are you as a foster parent dealing with scarred children (yes even ones that are only months old) but you also are dealing with a flawed worldly system. I am just the type personality (maybe to a fault) that when I need to ask a question I need someone RIGHT then.. patience is a fruit of the spirit right?? well, God has and continues to work on me.. I am a work in process!!! BUT after I finally got someone to answer my questions the Lord immediately convicted me of my sinful heart.. I was reminded and repented! a few hours later I was talking to Doug while he was on his way home (get this picture... 2 fussy babies, lane peeling potatoes beside me, L hanging off my leg, and J playing on the fridge phonics, Alexis asking every 5 minutes "when is Caleb coming home from six flags?", and Andrew saying "Jake and the never land pirates!!") mind you it is 5:45 pm! As I spoke to Doug I got teary eyed at just how good God has been to us!.. I could not help but reflect on the "gifts" that He has given us lately through people! I went back to 1000 gifts when Ann Voscamp reminds us to LOOK and pay attention to all the gifts... It's grace! beautiful grace!!! I wanted to record these so as the time went on I could go back and see all he gives! yes, most of these things are material things BUT each person behind these makes my heart smile and will forever be etched on my heart!
while we were at the beach I met a sweet coulee from Kansas and we had the opportunity to talk and share where else other than.... the bathroom!!! what a sweet memory as she told me about her kiddos now getting older and realizing how the time flies.. she was precious and we were not at our campsite at the time but she left a big bag of charcoal with the sweetest note and ask if we would use it! yes, mam.. we cooked hamburgers that night on it! a few minutes later when we returned her son came over a gave our children a boogie board.. what a blessing because we had JUST said hours before when we go to town we need one more boogie bard... well He provided! Doug needed a pair of sunglasses and was getting one of those headaches so he said when we go to town I need sunglasses.... well.... not even hours later Alexis pops up from the ocean and she is holding a "like new" pair of sunglasses... BTW... just like the style Doug wears... you can't tell me God is not in the details of our lives :) then my new friend Brenda! oh.what.a.sweet.heart.... and spoiler !!! she made sure that we were lacking nothing ! Brenda and her husband, sister in law and brother in law were to our left... we had so much in common! and she was just like talking to someone I had know for years! you see, the spirit recognizes the spirit! we stayed up late a couple of nights just talking! they were so generous they gave us a 5 gallon bucket, crabs (fresh), macaroni salad, tomatoes, firewood, baked beans, smores!!! and most of all a sweet memory!!! then the cutest couple to our right was celebrating their 2 year anniversary... why in the world did God allow this couple to be beside the family of "all the kiddos" plus the Hedrixes kiddos too!!! well... our kiddos did not matter o them, they were so gracious!!! they had the cutest yorkie "Annie" of course the kiddos fell in love with Annie... I really think that they will come to griffin not only to see us BUT to attend the Griffin fair :) it was sweet to see them.. it reminded me of the short period that Doug and I were the couple with no kiddos!!! then my Alabama friend Rachel! she was having a "mommy time out" one night on the beach... I strolled down to get something out of the water and then we engaged in conversation.. what a sweet spirit! we talked and talked just about life and it was a blessed time! I really hated when we left that I had not written down my Facebook name BUT she has such a great memory she found me!!! I was so thankful! now we can keep up even miles away! then the couple that was in "the BEST campsite" well in our eyes at least ... stopped us one night and ask us about L.. (yes she was the ONLY black person at the beach so we really stood out every where we went... I hope God reveal to her that God used her in sooooo many ways to minister to others!) we stopped and he said that God kept putting foster parents and adoptive parents in his wife and his life... he really felt like God was calling them to look further.. oh how I wish I had got their names... God knows it! that next evening he had caught a shark and fileted it.. he stops Doug and gives him one of the filets... we used more of the firewood to cook it... and we were able to share it with 3 other campsites.. just typing this makes me thankful, joyful and prayerful! I have now many more to pray for and what a privilege that is!!!
I can't end on the blessings of all those... we are sooooo blessed with the Hendrix's!!! we have become such great friends... this was the 4th time we have been on this "annual" trip!!! NO doubt this is a tradition!! we all look forward to this time together.. we did 5 night together this year!!!! What a heart Faith and Steve have!!! Faith and I could talk for hours! about nothing! I love our time when we sit (would love to make money at that one year ) in our chairs and look and look and look for dolphins or sharks!!! getting shells brought to us, getting sandy, taking LOTS of pictures, telling the kiddos " your too far, come back this way!" then the tradition of Hungry Howie, the sunset coastal grill, then after you are STUFFED eating an ice cream at burger king just because its cheap!, going to dollar general, looking for ALLIGATORS!, playing Dutch Blitz, smelling LOTS of smoke around the campfire, seeing the "different" pairs of kiddos as they walk and play at the beach, and admiring our suntans !!! I am so thankful the we said YES to a beach trip years ago!
then as we returned home I could not wait to get our hands on J, J and C.. I was thankful that Kathy was able to keep C! she brought them so much delight, love, cuteness, and STINKY diapers!! he he!! we had to put J and J in respite care but the lady was so sweet I called to check on the girls it was a sweet reunion.. our house was finally complete!
then last week J need some MUCH needed shoes and being honest... she needed GOOD ones.. I put out on Facebook that I was looking for that size and honestly did not have lots of money to invest... as foster parents there is not always resources, they are very limited!!! the next day I had someone I had know since a little girl sent me a Facebook and said they wanted to buy the shoes... I wept!! I was thankful that God uses us even sinful hearts to care for others!!
I see grace all in this! His grace.. it had nothing to do with "stuff" it has to do with HIM and HIS glory!!! may I continue to remember His goodness when my heart is even in the wrong!
while we were at the beach I met a sweet coulee from Kansas and we had the opportunity to talk and share where else other than.... the bathroom!!! what a sweet memory as she told me about her kiddos now getting older and realizing how the time flies.. she was precious and we were not at our campsite at the time but she left a big bag of charcoal with the sweetest note and ask if we would use it! yes, mam.. we cooked hamburgers that night on it! a few minutes later when we returned her son came over a gave our children a boogie board.. what a blessing because we had JUST said hours before when we go to town we need one more boogie bard... well He provided! Doug needed a pair of sunglasses and was getting one of those headaches so he said when we go to town I need sunglasses.... well.... not even hours later Alexis pops up from the ocean and she is holding a "like new" pair of sunglasses... BTW... just like the style Doug wears... you can't tell me God is not in the details of our lives :) then my new friend Brenda! oh.what.a.sweet.heart.... and spoiler !!! she made sure that we were lacking nothing ! Brenda and her husband, sister in law and brother in law were to our left... we had so much in common! and she was just like talking to someone I had know for years! you see, the spirit recognizes the spirit! we stayed up late a couple of nights just talking! they were so generous they gave us a 5 gallon bucket, crabs (fresh), macaroni salad, tomatoes, firewood, baked beans, smores!!! and most of all a sweet memory!!! then the cutest couple to our right was celebrating their 2 year anniversary... why in the world did God allow this couple to be beside the family of "all the kiddos" plus the Hedrixes kiddos too!!! well... our kiddos did not matter o them, they were so gracious!!! they had the cutest yorkie "Annie" of course the kiddos fell in love with Annie... I really think that they will come to griffin not only to see us BUT to attend the Griffin fair :) it was sweet to see them.. it reminded me of the short period that Doug and I were the couple with no kiddos!!! then my Alabama friend Rachel! she was having a "mommy time out" one night on the beach... I strolled down to get something out of the water and then we engaged in conversation.. what a sweet spirit! we talked and talked just about life and it was a blessed time! I really hated when we left that I had not written down my Facebook name BUT she has such a great memory she found me!!! I was so thankful! now we can keep up even miles away! then the couple that was in "the BEST campsite" well in our eyes at least ... stopped us one night and ask us about L.. (yes she was the ONLY black person at the beach so we really stood out every where we went... I hope God reveal to her that God used her in sooooo many ways to minister to others!) we stopped and he said that God kept putting foster parents and adoptive parents in his wife and his life... he really felt like God was calling them to look further.. oh how I wish I had got their names... God knows it! that next evening he had caught a shark and fileted it.. he stops Doug and gives him one of the filets... we used more of the firewood to cook it... and we were able to share it with 3 other campsites.. just typing this makes me thankful, joyful and prayerful! I have now many more to pray for and what a privilege that is!!!
I can't end on the blessings of all those... we are sooooo blessed with the Hendrix's!!! we have become such great friends... this was the 4th time we have been on this "annual" trip!!! NO doubt this is a tradition!! we all look forward to this time together.. we did 5 night together this year!!!! What a heart Faith and Steve have!!! Faith and I could talk for hours! about nothing! I love our time when we sit (would love to make money at that one year ) in our chairs and look and look and look for dolphins or sharks!!! getting shells brought to us, getting sandy, taking LOTS of pictures, telling the kiddos " your too far, come back this way!" then the tradition of Hungry Howie, the sunset coastal grill, then after you are STUFFED eating an ice cream at burger king just because its cheap!, going to dollar general, looking for ALLIGATORS!, playing Dutch Blitz, smelling LOTS of smoke around the campfire, seeing the "different" pairs of kiddos as they walk and play at the beach, and admiring our suntans !!! I am so thankful the we said YES to a beach trip years ago!
then as we returned home I could not wait to get our hands on J, J and C.. I was thankful that Kathy was able to keep C! she brought them so much delight, love, cuteness, and STINKY diapers!! he he!! we had to put J and J in respite care but the lady was so sweet I called to check on the girls it was a sweet reunion.. our house was finally complete!
then last week J need some MUCH needed shoes and being honest... she needed GOOD ones.. I put out on Facebook that I was looking for that size and honestly did not have lots of money to invest... as foster parents there is not always resources, they are very limited!!! the next day I had someone I had know since a little girl sent me a Facebook and said they wanted to buy the shoes... I wept!! I was thankful that God uses us even sinful hearts to care for others!!
I see grace all in this! His grace.. it had nothing to do with "stuff" it has to do with HIM and HIS glory!!! may I continue to remember His goodness when my heart is even in the wrong!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
puzzle pieces... fitting together!
Who knows how many hours/days/weeks this blog will take me!... we have in our home right now a 5.5 month old, 7 month old, 22 month old, 2,3.5, 8,11,12... yes, my friends, that is eight kiddos.. nap time at the Lawrence's right now... whooooo will wake up??? .... Ill keep going... we feel as though a portion of the puzzle is coming together as we are living this fast paced life right now!.. Our lives and family became bigger 11 weeks ago when we got L and C ... oh.my.goodness.... they have come leaps and bounds!!! Every single time we had to go anywhere as a family it was SOOOO tight... 3 car seats and 2 kiddos the size of adults... it was TIME... we have talked and talked and prayed for the Lord to show us the right thing.. we want to be good stewards of HIS money... so fast forward to this past weekend.. well, really lets go back 2 weeks ago... a friend was moving and had a toddler bed that she wanted to get rid of and I told her if NO one else wanted it we would take it... so we did.. set it up and L has been sleeping in it for more than a week.. so an open crib... hhhmmmmm... we had thought of putting C in it BUT mommas heart was not ready!...WHO would be in the crib upstairs?? OK.. back to the car... a BIGGER vehicle... OK our expedition held 8.. what is bigger than that?... well lets go 12.. so we did!!! we brought one home to drive this past weekend... we loved it BUT the car payment was something that we have not had in years!!! do we, don't we, do, don't???? we were seeking the Lord... we felt as if he was saying yes... but car payment?? we looked at numbers and we definitely could afford it but ugh!!! car payment... well on Monday morning we went about our business... had a great day! I even got to close my eyes during nap time... Not.like.me but the Lord was preparing... at 5 we got a call... for 2 precious girls.. we knew them and we said YES.. that is a whole other blog... when you say YES.. God will do mighty things!!! we definitely feel like God was confirming our decision.. may this Van, Us, and the "church" (BTW.. that is YOU) bring glory and honor to God! He is worthy, He is due all the GLORY!!! He is putting puzzle pieces together as we speak... We are letting Him write our story!!!
PS.. wow I finished with NO interruptions :)
PS.. wow I finished with NO interruptions :)
Friday, April 4, 2014
Growing up......
the past few days as I have reflected I was remided how much the "little" stage of our kiddos seems like a blink.. and of course it was! when I say little I mean infant... for all you mommas with "little" ones it too shall pass and you will look back and realize you too did blink!...
I am only a school year away from our oldest being in HIGHSCHOOL!!!... I mean next year I will have... 2 middle schoolers... of course I will find a new normal in rearing our "older" ones.. Its different physically.. well none physical, mentally... yes... hormones going crazy, physical changes, etc.... well lets just say there are times when I say I would love to have them "little" agian but then God nudges and says ...... love them right where they are.. be content with all the things that come with growing children.. so I will!
I can't help but think of "C" and all the stages that her mom is missing.. I am trying to document everything so one day "C" will have a journal of her journey. Even "L" I am documenting what could have been her first trip to the library, soccer field, and drum roll.... she is going to the beach with us... these are moments that will forever be etched in my memory as like our own kiddos...
so all my new mommy friends... don't wish for the next step... LOVE those babies right where they are... embrace each moment, give too many hugs and kisses, and most of all document so when they look back they will see where God has brought them!
I am only a school year away from our oldest being in HIGHSCHOOL!!!... I mean next year I will have... 2 middle schoolers... of course I will find a new normal in rearing our "older" ones.. Its different physically.. well none physical, mentally... yes... hormones going crazy, physical changes, etc.... well lets just say there are times when I say I would love to have them "little" agian but then God nudges and says ...... love them right where they are.. be content with all the things that come with growing children.. so I will!
I can't help but think of "C" and all the stages that her mom is missing.. I am trying to document everything so one day "C" will have a journal of her journey. Even "L" I am documenting what could have been her first trip to the library, soccer field, and drum roll.... she is going to the beach with us... these are moments that will forever be etched in my memory as like our own kiddos...
so all my new mommy friends... don't wish for the next step... LOVE those babies right where they are... embrace each moment, give too many hugs and kisses, and most of all document so when they look back they will see where God has brought them!
Monday, March 31, 2014
my mind went there!!!! ugh!!!
The most common words I hear when I say that we are foster parents is..
"I could never do that because I could never give them back, I get too attached" and Yes that is a very true statement for everyone including me! we do get attached!!!
I think of the 9 children that have been in and out of our home and each one leaves a mark..
a mark of deep sadness of their situations,
a deep wound of something they did to our own children,
a deep hurt because they did not ask to be born in these situations...
Yesterday I let my mind go there..... maybe TMI but Lane had to go to the bathroom during the service yesterday and I went with her... I decided that I would go while I was in there too and it happened... I was sitting on the toilet and BAM... it hit like a ton of bricks... like when you almost cant breathe... saddened about the day these girls may leave! you see I want to publicly tell the details of their situation but, for their privacy I wont BUT the heartbreak is too much to bear! I allowed my mind to go their for a second...
THEN.......
.....peace..... peace in the Sovereignty of God! you see, He is in control... I am not!
.....peace.....peace that He knows what is best for the girls
.....peace.....peace that God will use these girls to bring Himself glory
.....peace.....peace that no matter what He has my good in mind
So when I was washing my hands I was thanking Him for His unwavering goodness that we have the PRIVILEGE to have these girls in our home for as long as he allows and we will take each moment and bring Him all the glory!
so this is why we do it..... God has a plan and I don't want to look at my own inward hurts because in the end.... we will not wait on the sidelines wondering if we will get hurt .... we serve and bring Him glory and my friends HE IS WORTH IT!!!!
"I could never do that because I could never give them back, I get too attached" and Yes that is a very true statement for everyone including me! we do get attached!!!
I think of the 9 children that have been in and out of our home and each one leaves a mark..
a mark of deep sadness of their situations,
a deep wound of something they did to our own children,
a deep hurt because they did not ask to be born in these situations...
Yesterday I let my mind go there..... maybe TMI but Lane had to go to the bathroom during the service yesterday and I went with her... I decided that I would go while I was in there too and it happened... I was sitting on the toilet and BAM... it hit like a ton of bricks... like when you almost cant breathe... saddened about the day these girls may leave! you see I want to publicly tell the details of their situation but, for their privacy I wont BUT the heartbreak is too much to bear! I allowed my mind to go their for a second...
THEN.......
.....peace..... peace in the Sovereignty of God! you see, He is in control... I am not!
.....peace.....peace that He knows what is best for the girls
.....peace.....peace that God will use these girls to bring Himself glory
.....peace.....peace that no matter what He has my good in mind
So when I was washing my hands I was thanking Him for His unwavering goodness that we have the PRIVILEGE to have these girls in our home for as long as he allows and we will take each moment and bring Him all the glory!
so this is why we do it..... God has a plan and I don't want to look at my own inward hurts because in the end.... we will not wait on the sidelines wondering if we will get hurt .... we serve and bring Him glory and my friends HE IS WORTH IT!!!!
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Nesting... Anticipating....
I remember the days well when I was pregnant.. yep, 4 times, I remember getting to the last weeks and doing crazy things.. painting, cleaning like a fool, and fantasizing about what the next Lawrence would look like... Nesting... anticipating..... excited....
well... no. I .am.not.pregnant. BUT my heart is nesting.
We are in "in between" foster kiddos...
Having within 2 weeks 5 of them in and out of your home all 2 and under my heart is ready...
Caleb's heart is ready, you see, he pretty much was mad, upset, scared, and rebelling against foster children... He saw how our first set of boys hurt others, very loud, disrespectful, and etc.... He was done... BUT oh, how the Lord can change a heart!!!! and He did!
God used 5 precious faces to give Caleb the "eyes of Jesus" again... The 5 kiddos loved him, clung to him (one had an 11 year old brother, whom she missed) and it was beautiful to see God transform Caleb's heart right in front of me!!!
He is ready... we are ready.... But God we will wait... until your timing!
well... no. I .am.not.pregnant. BUT my heart is nesting.
We are in "in between" foster kiddos...
Having within 2 weeks 5 of them in and out of your home all 2 and under my heart is ready...
Caleb's heart is ready, you see, he pretty much was mad, upset, scared, and rebelling against foster children... He saw how our first set of boys hurt others, very loud, disrespectful, and etc.... He was done... BUT oh, how the Lord can change a heart!!!! and He did!
God used 5 precious faces to give Caleb the "eyes of Jesus" again... The 5 kiddos loved him, clung to him (one had an 11 year old brother, whom she missed) and it was beautiful to see God transform Caleb's heart right in front of me!!!
He is ready... we are ready.... But God we will wait... until your timing!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Baby Lane is EIGHT????
I remember it like it was yesterday all our friends called Lane "baby Lane" she was ohhhhhh soooooo cute with curly brown hair, big lips (people pay alot of money for some like these) and CUTE clothes that were soooo girlie!!! .... I love these days of thinking she is "the baby" BUT God quickly shows us how quick they grow up and become young ladies... I DO NOT like my kiddos growing up ... BUT HEY... It is gonna happen... I will embrace each age that comes! ... This sweet girl loves to have fun, giggle, play soccer, burp (yes, I said burp) loves to pick up animals off the side of the road, pester her sister, wrestle with her brother, and give me lots of cuddles!!! I am pushed to my limit everyday with her... she has lots of drive and I am praying God will use that in a BIG way as she grows up!!! I am thankful to call her daughter!! I LOVE her free spirit... she has always had it and always will!!! here is eight Lane!!! you are growing and I love you!!!
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