Sweet Jacob...

FINALLY a Lawrence .................  oh my it has been almost 1.5 years since my last blog, oh my!, and folks after having had 32 foster children in and out of our home in 4 years we are enjoying right now our family of 5! Jacob Edward Lawrence was officially a Lawrence on April 10, 2017 and we could not be happier!!! He is a joy and a stinker at the same time :) Ha!!! We pray he grows in the Lord and loves big! Here is some oldies and current pictures!

quiet place closer to the Lord

In a quiet place... even though I am very extroverted because God made me that way , there are times when I find myself in a quiet place inside.. not many post on facebook, not a blog in sight, little longer on responding to text messaging and the list goes on.. I somewhat like this place because it has me in a place closer to the Lord. Focusing on Him and being taken to the woodshed on my sin. praising Him that He is revealing my shortcomings and praising the Lord for Grace.. These times are so good for me. raising 6 kiddos and still having to deal with the drama of bio mom. I need Jesus.. I need His guidance, wisdom, knowledge, presence, love, agape love and the list goes on. My hope is rooted in Christ plus or minus NOTHING! He is all sufficient.. so when God has me in these quiet places I am thankful .

today...

looking at the time it is 7:11 and God has been pressing on my heart to sit and write.. oh my! I have a million things to do to get ready this morning... we have court with J ... I always get this bump in my stomach as we head toward Lagrange. you park on this tiny street and walk into this cold building where you are met by a big man with a gun.. I just chuckle at that .. a big man with a gun!! He immediately greets you with what case are you here with... you almost feel like a criminal. you tell him and you walk through that metal detector.. better not have a belt on or you will BEEP.. BEEP.. head up the stairs into a holding room where you hear lots of chatter. you wait and wait till your case is called and you walk into a court room.. it is DEAD silence... you sit back and pray. I mean this child's life is hinging in the hands of a sinner just like you and I.. it is hard because I just want to stand straight up and say everything I know about the case and plead on behalf of these babies.. this is not fair... dfacs has been involved since birth.. BUT GOD He reminds me to be still.. He reminds me of His sovereignty... before the foundation of the world He knew we would be sitting there at that time and I embrace HIM.. not the words of the judge BUT HIM.. He is the peace in the storm, He is the hope for the hopeless, He is the creator, sustainer, and the very breath of life!.. then peace.... His peace.. amen!

oops... it has happened AGAIN!!!

this blog... I'm so sorry you have been neglected yet AGAIN!!!!! thoughts come through this brain (really you don't want to know how many thoughts come through this brain on a daily basis.. can I just say 6 kiddos, home school and being a wife) so many its hard to keep up!!!! I have thought about you but the daily callings in my life call much louder than you! I want all my thoughts, heart aches, mountain top experiences, and happenings of day to day on her so I can look back and say GOD YOU ARE SO GOOD... even in the heartaches... we have had Thanksgiving,Christmas, 2 foster children that came and left, one of our fosters left and now he is back, M's birthday, new years, CC days, 1/2 marathons, gym meets... and the list goes on!!!.. I love you blog... you remind me of my shortcomings , my joys, my sadness... so all this to say is I will try not to neglect you ANYMORE!!!... 

catch-up.. kinda

I am finally catching up on my blog..kinda!.. life has been a little lonely with 'J" leaving.. I miss him, I miss the smell of a newborn, snuggles, and so many other things.. BUT I am also enjoying having a little break. We have for a little over 2 years had 23 foster children.. I am gonna enjoy having only one and ENJOYING my own children too! Fostering is tough and to be honest it is a LONELY road.. only other foster parents can REALLY understand how fostering a child is not like the ones you birthed.. so as I go journey through life it is lonely.. things are not always so cutsie when "M" is doing things and you know some of those things stems back to his brokenness..


As I pray and seek the Lords will I am also pleading with Him to know my heart... you see I never thought this journey would lead my heart for adoption but it is now longing for it.. not sure if it is I am EXHAUSTED with DFACS.. the visits, the caseworkers, the transporters, the complaints from the moms, the not so truthful things said, and the list goes on.... or if He has pricked my heart for something different..

I am longing to see what God will do.

wanna know something.........

this post.. its a hard one... I always say this is my journal of where my feelings are at a particular time.. so here it goes! Tired.. yep I said it.. we are so.very.tired.. we fall into the bed every night and pray that little man sleeps all night.. Doug has been training a new guy so he has been at our house by 4am every.single.day.. Doug is up by 3-3:45 every morning. I on the other hand get up anywhere between 4:30 and 5:30.. I have to have my quiet time and COFFEE before my day starts... we got a new foster baby 'P' and oh she is precious all 11 months precious... BUT she is in a transition period (many things) and its hard on her  but she will do fine... I have no doubts she will thrive and do so well here. I lean on the Lord for His strength and grace as we tread new waters of a 13 week old, 11 month old, and 19 month.. plus our 4.. BUT Jesus has been so good to me and helps me every.single.second... seriously I do not know how people go through life without Jesus... also we are in FULL blown school! oh.my!!! lots of tears, frustration, love, excitement all bundled up in a package... running.. I love that I am back to my running routine.. thankful that the Lord gave me a running partner who also understands tired soooo if we get tired we walk :) ...  and something that soooo man people say to be and have said over the past years since our fostering journey... you are super mom.. just for the record I am weak BUT He is strong, I am undone BUT He is not, I am not worthy to come before Him, BUT Jesus is my advocate, I am a sinner, BUT He makes me right with Him, I am tired BUT He is never weary,  I am me and He is Jesus.. I am not super mom , I am a momma who seek and runs after Jesus every second, every minute, everyday.. I always want to point all these things to Jesus.. I am so thankful He chose me.. now may I be obedient to share Him always with whomever I see!

BLOG # 202

I looked at how many entries I had written the other day.. 202! seems like a lot then I think about all the life events, tears, cheers, burdens, love, birthdays, sanctification, countries.. that happened in these short 202 blogs.. when I started my blog back in 2010 I wanted to have somewhat of a "scrapbook" of our family.. Who knew that it would become my thoughts ?? It is a great reminder that we have our ways BUT the Lord determines our steps.. I have been thankful to look back and see what we have done, said, loved, and been.. I am thankful for blogging.. now just to get this thing printed off!!! LOL!!!